The morning after the night before.

Anticipative.

You guessed it, that's me.

Having hope is not a bad thing and it is hope that drives you on in life. Without hope, you would be a glass is half empty kind of person and we all know that isn't a fun way to live.

For over two weeks I have been clinging on to hope and as each day passed, I began to breathe a sigh of relief that maybe, just maybe this time things were going to be different.

Slightly misguided and lulled into a false sense of security allow me to indulge you all in our weekend of full blown rage. I'm not talking about any old type of rage, I mean Cipro rage.

The beast returned with a vengeance.

Sophie has been a little grumpy but no more than usual tiredness, we didn't think any more of it as most of the time she was super pleasant.

Cue Sunday, started off okay, visited her nan and grandad and all seemed okay, temper a little more short than usual but coping.
Getting ready to leave and temper more frayed, tears and generally irritable now.

By the time we arrived home, Sophie had morphed into a Cipro induced beast.
Throwing things, kicking, punching and head butting stuff, after coaxing her into her treatments and getting her bathed and ready for bed she just flipped.

Somehow she managed to find the strength to pull her mattress off her bed. (I struggle to move this) and she just continued to throw her stuff about, attacked her toys, attacked her wall and anyone who went near her. She trashed her room.

It was awful and took a very long time for her to calm down and fall off to sleep. I text her CF nurse and asked if the Cipro could be stopped as we were nearly at the three week mark any way.

I had a pit of fear in my tummy every time I climbed the stairs of what I was going to find. If it was physically possible her head would have spun last night. Everything about her had changed including her facial expressions, she was so agitated.

I just cannot imagine what thoughts were running through her head to make her go from being so friendly and lovable to completely violent and vile in such a short space of time.

I have gained even more respect for parents who deal with challenging behaviour on a daily basis. I just don't know how you do it both physically and mentally as I feel absolutely exhausted today.

Sophie's CF nurse has text me back and the Cipro is now stopped. Just hope it gets out of her system quickly!!

In other news.

CF clinic went really well last week, no issues at all which is brilliant. Her consultant would like her to have a CT scan of her lungs so we have a baseline picture in detail of what her lungs actually look like.

Although Xrays are useful, they don't show the finer details of the small airways which is typically where lung damage first occurs. In these areas, a change in health is not usually noticed either and it's this silent side of CF that scares me a little. For now we wait for the appointment and hope we can get Sophie to cooperate.

One last piece of news, Sophs sputum culture from clinic is back...

Mixed Growth.

Yep, completely normal and although I know pseudo will show again soon, it's nice to know the numbers are so low it's retreated and is in hiding for now at least.

Off to hospital for Sophs port flush tomorrow, I just hope the Cipro is leaving her system by then otherwise it may get ugly!

Take care and thank you so so much for all of the lovely messages and comments. They mean a lot to us :)

xxx