Does anyone else feel that they paint on a happy face twenty four hours a day, even when you are not completely feeling, well.. happy?
The mask you wear can sometimes slip and those closest to you notice, or you hope they would.
I try to remain positive all the time as I hate too much negativity, don't get me wrong I like a good moan, but who doesn't eh?
I'm always there for others, especially my closest friends day or night, so is it selfish for me to sometimes want the same support return?
I rarely let on how I'm feeling, I'm really good at hiding most things and work through them on my own, but when my mask does slip, I would like to think that friends would notice. I don't necessarily mean just CF problems, just all things that can crop up and knock you sideways.
My closest of friends always notice, but I sometimes feel let down by others who I consider to be 'almost' close friends. I find this disappointing especially when I have been there for them, many many times, even during hospital admissions for Soph my phone is always on.
On the odd occasion I may drop a huge hint, it doesn't get acknowledged and they manage to turn the conversation back to them.
I guess people get caught up in their own lives and they can be more selfish than I have ever imagined. I know some of you fellow bloggers have touched on this subject before and I always thought I was one of the lucky ones to not experience such things. I guess I'm not so lucky eh?
I am fine though promise, just hate being let down and finding out people aren't who you think they are. I should stop being so nice maybe?
It seems to work for everyone else!
On to Soph...
Port flush was done on Tuesday without sedation, go Soph!
She was a little more animated than previously but after five minutes just sat still. She had all of her annual bloods taken at the same time as I refuse to let her be accessed just for bloods.
We didn't bother attempting an xray, she just wouldn't have coped but it's something we will try and work on.
She's super bright at the moment no cold appeared so we can breathe a sigh of relief, however we are on bowel watch though because we are slowly reducing her laxatives to see if we can get things a little more, err, firmer :)
She had to go to school in her pyjamas today for comic relief (national fundraising day for those that may not know). She was NOT impressed, she kept asking me over and over why and if she was really going to hospital to sleep. I guess she still has some anxieties and random things trigger these memories.
She ended up having a great day though and we may also have to surgically remove her space hopper as she is on it all the time, which is great except for when she needs a bath!
Both Ian and I have had hospital appointments for issues but all okay, except for Ian's knee but that is a whole other story!!
Will leave you with a pic of Soph who managed to get a supermarket manager(also pictured) to fall in love with her and allow her to 'go behind the scenes' of the bakery section. They also gave her a little paper hat and she had a blast :)
Thanks for listening to my mini rant, here is the best place to get it all out.
Hope everyone is okay and apologies for my lack of blogging, life has gotten in the way.
Thanks for all of the lovely comments too.